All caped up and ready to go

We've had the shop and the chair (see below) and now we come to, for me, the most important and enjoyable part of the whole process: the cape. I can't stress enough how important this is for me. When selecting a shop for my next haircut, it is the prime consideration. It can't be just any old cape, though of course it can be old and well used, it has to be made of a decent weight nylon. I love the feel of the material against my skin and the rustling noise it makes as the barber billows the cape out over me, coming to rest over the arms of the chair forming a shallow hollow across my lap where the hair can collect.

Once you've been enveloped in the cape there's absolutely no turning back. You are at the mercy of the barber wielding scissors, comb, clippers and razor. I don't like clips or poppers or pins to hold the cape in place. At a pinch I'll settle for a velcro fastening but the best way to secure the cape is for it to be tucked firmly into the collar of my shirt and then I can feel nylon against the skin on my nape and the barber can tug it down to gain access to the lower reaches of my neck with the clippers and razor later on.

You may have noticed in the above pictures that the nylon capes on show share something else in common, they're all blue and there's not a sign of any of those awful rubber/plastic cutting collars. I don't know what it is about blue (light is better than dark), most likely it's a memory from childhood but it's my favourite colour for a cape. Other colours will do, just so long as they're made and set right, but I think blue sets off the cut hair better and the hair must end up on the cape. I've seen barbers try to flick hair straight to the floor but I'd rather see it fall onto the cape, sometimes catching in a fold or tumbling all the way into my lap. Collecting on my shoulders or tickling the back of my neck as a fluffy mass drops from the clippers running up the back. What's the point of all that hair being cut off if you can't see it on the cape in the mirror or accumulating in your lap when your chin's pushed down to your chest?

Having a haircut

It's not really the end result that interests me, though I don't want to come out with a bad haircut obviously, but the whole process, the ritual. There are many elements that go to make up the perfect haircut and the first of these is the shop itself.

It needs to be as old-fashioned and traditional as possible. Whilst being clean and hygienic, it shouldn't be sterile and if it's all a bit frayed around the edges through lots of use over the years, then all the better. Then there are smells of lotions and shampoos and of hair, hot from the blowdryer or freshly cut which add to the atmosphere.

The chairs should be proper barber's chairs with a leather razor strop attached, a Belmont or some such, not the sort of thing you'd find in a trendy salon that looks more like a typist's chair. And it should have a foot-operated lever for raising and lowering. Each chair should face a sink with a mirror above it. Even better if the mirror runs along the whole wall so that I can see what's going on in the other of the 3 or 4 chairs.

While waiting I should be able to see what's going on in the chairs. A series of old bentwood chairs along the opposite wall, or maybe a red padded bench, with a low table full of out of date newpapers and magazines. Not that I read any of them of course, though I may pretend while watching the haircuts going on in front of me. There are fewer better things to see in a barber's than a reluctant, shaggy-haired youth on the receiving end of a good shearing.

Clippers, combs and scissors in jars of barbicide or maybe a steriliser cabinet on the wall, a chrome cotton wool dispenser, shampoos, styptic pencils, jars of brylcreem and bottles of bay rum and other lotions, tissues, towels and talc, brushes and razors. All of these on display on the counter by the sink or on the wall by the mirror are integral to making a good barber shop.

I've yet to find the perfect shop, it's probably not even out there anymore.

Nice picture another nice story